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Keshni’s Story

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READ HOW KESHNI CHANGED HER LIFE

Choose Happiness

When I was asked to write an article on my journey, I was not quite sure what to write about. You see, what started as a weight loss journey soon transformed into a journey of rediscovery – a long, painful, glorious journey to emancipation and transcendence. A journey to finding happiness.

In 2016, I found myself at a crossroad. The decision I made would forever alter the course of my life. At that moment, I did the most selfish thing – I chose me.  I believe that I am the most important person in my life. Unless I am whole and happy, I will never be able to fully be everything else that I am required to be.  On an airplane, they ask you to always put on your oxygen first. If you run out of oxygen, you won’t be able to help anyone else. It’s the same with life- unless you first take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. You have to first love yourself before you love others.

I have never been skinny. I was always the fat kid so I did not have high aspirations. I just wanted to lose a little bit of weight so that I could feel attractive again.

I started with Lifeline and within 8 months or so got to the lightest weight I had ever been in my adult life. I went from 98kg to 68kg and have maintained that weight for most of the last 2 years. I let things slide over the festive season last year and found myself at 77kg at the end of December 2018. But I wasn’t stressed because I knew I would start again in January 2019.

Tammy and Jean were back on my case from January and since then I have lost the weight and am now weighing in at 65kg. It’s awesome when your coaches tell you that’s enough weight loss now. Take a break.

So yes, I have lost in total 33kg since starting on this journey.  

In the field of health and fitness, I discovered obstacle course racing -which to me is a metaphor for life. Every time I conquer an obstacle in the race, it strengthens my belief in my ability to conquer the challenges I face in my life. Also, just convincing myself that I can even run an obstacle course race and then doing it- gives me courage to face the challenges in my life. Every race I finish reinforces my belief in myself.

But just like obstacle course racing requires training, life requires training too. Life is a balance of sowing and reaping. What you put in is what you get out.

So what do I put in?

I usually wake up around 03h00 on most mornings. I spend time in meditation, then I journal, then I train until 05h30. That’s MY time. I make that time for myself because the rest of the day belongs to my family and work. But I go to bed latest 21h00 so I get at least 6 hours sleep every night.

 

My training typically involves:

3 x training runs in the week

1 x race or long slow run on the weekend

4 x Lifeline workouts in the week

I don’t enjoy going to the gym so I do most of my training at home and on the road.

I really hate and love training. Finding the motivation to wake up and actually do the workouts or go run is very hard.

There are days I negotiate with myself saying, okay, just go for a walk- you don’t have to run. And as most runners will tell you, when you on the road, you are always asking yourself why are you doing this?!!  Running is hard. I never imagined that I would actually be able to call myself a runner. I remember when I first started; I took almost 1h30 to walk 5km. I used to join the Parkrun and other races for the social aspect as it gave me an opportunity to connect with other people. I don’t quite know when things changed but definitely for this year I have taken running a little more seriously. Every time I run, I try to be better than I was yesterday. I’m not in competition with anyone except myself. I believe a winner is someone who finishes the race. Doesn’t matter the time it takes or my position- all I have to do is finish.

I love the runners high. It’s a real thing and I’m addicted to it.

When it comes to eating, I eat a moderate carb diet. I don’t have any refined sugars and I choose not to feed myself junk food. If I want a burger then it’s a proper burger with real meat. I don’t diet. I eat healthy.

I learned a long time ago that we only have one body and we should take care of it. That’s why it’s important to eat right, exercise, sleep and stimulate your mind. It’s important to live life healthy.

Through the course of my journey I have learnt a lot and lost a lot. The biggest lesson I have learnt is about choosing happiness.

 

Once we are free in our minds, our hearts can soar regardless of the situation or circumstance we find ourselves in.

Yes, that is possible. Happiness is a choice that you must consciously make every single day and in every single situation. Acknowledge the clouds but look for the silver lining. You are always one decision away from a different ending. How you decide to interpret the situation and how you respond will determine the outcome. It’s all up to you. So choose what will make you happy- even if it’s against the grain.

Emancipation is defined as being set free from the control of someone or something- to be free from controlling influence, such as traditional beliefs.

Generally one would think of emancipation as freedom from ‘other people’. I think we are slaves to our own minds and limiting beliefs. True emancipation would be freedom from OUR minds, self- doubt and limiting beliefs. If we can think differently about ourselves then we can be free.

Free to choose happiness. Free to forgive. Free to show kindness. Free to be brave and show courage. Free to believe in magic even though reality may be depressing and soul destroying.

Once we are free in our minds, our hearts can soar regardless of the situation or circumstance we find ourselves in. No chains can bind a happy heart.

Now when I look in the mirror, I see a miracle.  I think to myself, maybe we were made just for this- to live, to laugh, to love.

Maybe we weren’t made to achieve anything great but to just BE. To be born into this world so we can experience this thing called Life. Maybe the world turns, the sun rises and the stars shine just for US. Maybe life is God’s gift to us and that’s why it’s called the present.

So I have chosen to dance in the rain, swim in the ocean, feel the sun on my skin, climb all the mountains, play in the waterfalls, kiss under the stars and sleep in the moonlight. I have chosen to live my best life and make every moment count. I have chosen me, chosen happiness.

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